Tough Luck

umm.. Hi :)

damn.. it has been a long ass time since I've actually blogged. Don't have much to blog about.. This time last year I'd probably had plenty to say but now, I'm good! That whole "things can't get any worst" is nonsense!... BLAH @ that shit. But I do believe in "there's always something good at the end of the tunnel" or "the grass is greener on the other side"? some shit like that. Just to throw out some stuff negatives from last year.. stabbed in the back by the person who I least expected, parents lost their jobs, car accident - insurance didn't even cover. There's probably smaller things that isn't coming to mind, but those are the big ones. What good has come from those negatives?
The backstabbing..
I think I'm even closer than I was before with her! someday you may stumble upon this.. whether or not, thanks. You helped me through it even though you were still somewhat responsible for it. I know I'm bad at this helping thing, but I'm working on it.. And I hope I helped you the past couple of months :) Anyways, we're so tight to the point where some of you guys are questioning us! Including that who did the stabbing.. No, nothing is happening between us. Question: Can two great friends of the opposite sex just hang? Well, we're great friends and we look out for one another. Good times and bad times.. Why are we always together? You just so happen to catch us when we're hanging out because she's the only one who actually wants to hang. Everyone else is too busy with something else.
Parents losing their job?
lost their job because my dad had balls and stood up to the bitch who was hitting up on the boss! There isn't not much good.. or at least not yet. Currently digging for pennies right now and living day-by-day. My mom is currently sewing again and my dad, I overheard, may have a job that he can stay until retirement :) hope he gets it!
the Car~
it is repaired out of my pocket and sister's :x So great driving her around again... I break necks yo :D by that I mean that I mean that people break their necks trying to stare at my car. I swear.. Just tonight driving home from dinner I broke 4 necks. There are some pretty nasty dings already from adding 2k miles since repairs less than a month ago.. but I don't really care since I just want to drive!

What's the point of this blog...? not sure, my 2009 was hell and so far my 2010 has been fairly good. I guess it's about my past year and how shitty my luck was.. Just had to tough it out for the greater good to come :) Oh yeah, this post does not mean that I am back to blogging. I may drop in from time to time to blog here and will read others blogs when recommended to. I do have somewhat of another "blog" where I complain and whine on. It's private and only 2 set of eyes can gaze upon :)



Side note:
I'm free until February 22nd.. Been watching Chuck since the only person who I really hang with left for school! (Chuck is good! Sarah is hot imo :x and now there's that chick from Smallville! Soo great!) but yeah, any random adventures, I am down to do! Anything! I want out of the house, and willing to try new things :) even though only 4 people follow my blog lol

a little somesome :]

WHAT? AN UPDATE?! scary enough yes. But I'm not quite back to read... actually I hate reading and probably won't read others' post.. so I don't expect anyone to read my post.
What the fuck have I been up to... Nothing much.. Been MIA! But with the car garaged, I have so much free time! So thought I would give this thing a little up! Someone mentioned I was happier lately.. I think the complete opposite! 2009 hasn't been the best year for me as many of you may know. So.. it was a real surprise that this someone would say I've been really happy. Eh.. who knows.. it's summer time and it's time for fucking fun! Who's up to party?! No more emoing! fuck emoing! HAHA


But I do need to throw this out.. poems = emo.. and here's a poem? O.o (not quite)
I don't remember this thing exactly.. since it was way back in 8th grade, but it has been running in my head for a while.

One late night I went outside.
Laid there on the grass, looking up to notice all the stars.
I began to list all that makes you special with each star.
But soon after I realized I ran out of stars.

Since this whole blogging thing is really for myself. Maybe this will help me remember it. Or at least a version similar to 8th grade... Someone, won't be mentioning names, was helping with poems and this happened to pop into my head. This person thought it was nice but corny. But what poem isn't corny nowadays.. Just thought I'd share.

FML?

Nowadays, "FML" or Fuck My Life can probably be taken as a joke. This time around, I do not feel it's a joke. I've noticed my life being like a story; the whole rise, climax, fall shit. I feel I'm already on my falling stage of the novel and next stop will be the end. It's one of those predictable endings and it's not a happy ending. The rise and climax isn't important. I really do cherish my friendships I have. So my story is really about my friends. I really hate being alone. Short summary of my rise would probably be the friends that I've made throughout elementary school and high school since my fall is really about friends and homies. Lately, it feels that everyone seems to be hating on each other.. I won't be mentioning who is hating on who and who is right and shit.. That's your own shit to deal with. But some of you guys seriously needs to stop taking those PISS-OFF pills. Sorry but some of you guys get real piss real fast. Quit tripping.. It's all for shits and giggles. Yes, I know sometimes some of us go a bit far. Say it to our faces. Tell us that we're fucking up. Don't just walk away and talk about it with the other people in the group and it will just eventually be one of us telling the person. I think we're tight enough to say "hey, I fucked up and would like to apologize. Sorry." I know I've been saying it recently.. Anyways, someone said that our Ramona Kids crew is probably the tightest, most active group.. I would normally agree, but had to disagree this time around. Tight? with all the hate and shit, we're really avoiding each other more and more. Active? not so much after winter break. (this past Fall / Winter has been my climax. Ushio being the peak of course!) Yeah.. school but if I recall correct, last year was a lot more fun even if it were just the weekends. Even I enjoyed just bumming around while some of you guys shopped.. I went shopping alone yesterday! That was sad... An example of 'how tight we are now' would be snowboarding. I didn't go because of money issues.. I'm sure everyone can use the same reason. But snowboarding! sounds like something we would do as a group like Berkeley trip! Shit.. there was a second Berkeley trip and only 5 people went compared to the first with 12?! I'm probably offending a shit load of you and even though in my previous post, comments said I shouldn't apologize and there isn't a reason, I will anyways. Sorry if I offended you. I'm just really annoyed and sad. All of what was said isn't really quite the fall of my story. It's just something I feel that is happening within our crew and it's something that adds to what the real fall is. Probably what caused me to write this post is what I'm about to say next. I did say in my previous post that I cherished a friendship.. Well, I feel that that friendship is slowly falling apart due to the fucked up life I have chosen. I do not need to say anymore..
lets bust a nick and ask questions or.. question at the end..

When do you call it quits? Cause I seriously feel like jumping off a building right now. (too bad my next and last class for the week is on the first floor.. it's ceramics! maybe some pottery will fall on my head and I'll stay in my little coma!) Yeah yeah.. killing yourself isn't the way to go. I don't want to kill myself. I just want to inflict as much pain elsewhere so my heart would stop hurting so :/ (please do not punch me in the balls...)

Previous Post?

Short little update just to inform some readers! Some may already know that I have removed a previous post. I have removed it for the safety of the friendship I cherish very much. She requested that I do not tell her why I like her for the sake of our friendship might change. I was informed that I had viewers I would not expect that would read and I feared that words would spread to her. Obviously, the previous post was about why I liked her and pretty much how it all began. I have the post saved and will be happy to share it if asked because I know so many of you have asked why. Anyways, there were still so many questions being asked after that. I cannot remember all of those questions but the question almost everyone ask is "What was the whole Canada girl about?" I barely told anyone about this relationship and somehow people I do not talk to know of this information. Anyways, back to the question. I'll admit that I did like her. Just so I won't cause confusion.. her name was Karen. But I was pushed by a certain person (I will not mention this person's name) to break it up with Karen because this certain person considered my liking another girl while with Karen, cheating. I try not to hurt anyone, I'm sure some people have gotten offended on the things I've said. Would like to apologize for that. It really is all for shits and giggles, but I understand I may go a bit too far. Please let me know by telling me to just shut the fuck up. Anyways, I know I hurt her and after that little incident, I swore to myself that I would not hurt anyone else just because I want to move on. I know that I'm just going to fall for her again. Well, that's my little update because a few people still don't know what is up.

I hope the it wasn't too confusing.. It's pretty easy to follow.

the Intro~

the first post on this blog thing.. It will probably be nowhere close to being as long as Wasin's blog nor anyone elses. I haven't read Nick's yet, but I'll get to it eventually. I probably got more than Cass so far :D

hmm.. what is there to say? I think everyone knows who I am and what I do.. lets start by talking about what I just did today! I got off class with Nick at pretty much 10:10am and we waited for Cass. Drove home using different routes because Cass wanted to do some initial D stuff. Met up at my place where Cass and I washed our cars.. Yes, it rained but we washed it anyways. It started to rain when we were drying. They left after and I went to go do some errors. Where this lady almost hit my car.. sure I'll admit it was my fault but god damn that lady's face just pissed me off! I wanted to get out of the car and just go "BRING IT BITCH! MY CAR MAYBE A FIT BUT HELLA WORTH MORE THAN YOURS!" but I didn't.. (I swear I don't have road rage). Speak of the Fit.. I officially named it. Her name is Ushio. It was never "MoJo".. Moo and Jo named it and I never really said it was. Where did I get the name Ushio? From an anime called Clannad! but she appears in the second second so it's really Clannad ~After Story~.
The real Ushio!

Why after her? Shit you can call me a fag or a pedo but she's fucking cute in the anime! And everyone has been calling my Fit cute!

hmm probably my last topic lol.. umm Cass was in my car the other day and the song Jason Mraz - Lucky came up and she asked me if I think of her when it comes on. To tell you the truth, a lot of songs come on that I think of her :x but that song, I haven't really heard the lyrics actually when she asked me, but yes, that song does now make me think of her.. "lucky to be in love with my best friend".. lol I have a history of losing best friends, but I hope this one will not end. Yes, I really like her. 7 years and I'm going to continue even if nobody supports me in it.

PS: My title is in Japanese. Translation: "Everything in this world depends on each other to survive." (may not be direct)
Link to the song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6bLKTyFzZYI (it's from Gundam 00 S2)